Some people want order. Some people want knowledge. And then there's you—standing in the middle of the lab, cackling while the elements rearrange themselves into profanities and fever dreams. This shirt isn’t here to teach chemistry. It’s here to mock the very concept of structure.
Featuring a gloriously scrambled periodic table where actual elements spell CLOACA and other barely classroom-legal phrases, this tee is for chaos chemists, pun-slinging lab gremlins, and anyone who thought high school science needed more dick jokes.
Put this on and watch actual scientists wince, weep, or weirdly respect you.
Wear it proudly:
To your next D&D session or science fair sabotage
When your lab coat’s at the cleaners
On first dates where you want to weed out the boring ones
Specs (science still applies here):
100% ring-spun cotton – smoother than a lanthanide's valence shell
Lightweight and breathable – like oxygen, but sexier
Classic fit – accommodates nerds, jocks, and chaotic neutrals
Ethically sourced – no unethical experiments here
Ribbed collar – because structure should exist somewhere
Care Instructions:
Wash cold – like Schrödinger’s heart
Tumble dry low – don’t let it go thermonuclear
No bleach – we already ruined the table, not the planet
Iron gently – or just accept wrinkles like a noble gas accepts nothing
