This is it. The shirt that started it all. The one that made your friends ask, “Wait… is that a pigeon’s butthole?” Yes. Yes it is. Proudly printed on the plumpest part of a hand-drawn, wide-eyed pigeon, the Cloaca Crew logo tee is your entry ticket into a world of nerdy, dirty, biologically accurate mayhem.
Wearing this shirt means you know what a cloaca is and you’re not afraid to make it your whole personality. It’s bold. It’s weird. It’s… disturbingly wholesome in a “science fair meets dive bar” kind of way.
Established 2025. Founded in feathers. Fueled by chaos.
Perfect for:
Science lovers with a juvenile streak
Bird enthusiasts who took one wrong turn
People who need strangers to ask about their shirt
Specs (as structurally sound as a coop):
100% ring-spun cotton – softer than a pigeon in a warm sunbeam
Lightweight & breathable – ideal for cooing, strutting, or squatting
Classic fit – fits like a hug from your weirdest friend
Ethically sourced – no pigeons plucked
Ribbed collar – like a ruffled neck feather, but on purpose
Care Instructions:
Machine wash cold – preserve the purity of the pigeon
Tumble dry low – like the crew’s collective standards
No bleach – we need those lines crisp, not ghosted
Iron if you dare – but maybe avoid the cloacal region
