Chaotic Table of Elements - Unisex Jersey Long Sleeve Tee

The Chaotic Table of The Elements - Unisex Tee

🧪 Science just failed its sanity check.

Some people want order. Some people want knowledge. And then there's you—standing in the middle of the lab, cackling while the elements rearrange themselves into profanities and fever dreams. This shirt isn’t here to teach chemistry. It’s here to mock the very concept of structure.

Featuring a gloriously scrambled periodic table where actual elements spell CLOACA and other barely classroom-legal phrases, this tee is for chaos chemists, pun-slinging lab gremlins, and anyone who thought high school science needed more dick jokes.

Put this on and watch actual scientists wince, weep, or weirdly respect you.

Wear it proudly:

• To your next D&D session or science fair sabotage

• When your lab coat’s at the cleaners

• On first dates where you want to weed out the boring ones

Specs (science still applies here):

• 100% ring-spun cotton – smoother than a lanthanide's valence shell

• Lightweight and breathable – like oxygen, but sexier

• Classic fit – accommodates nerds, jocks, and chaotic neutrals

• Ethically sourced – no unethical experiments here

• Ribbed collar – because structure should exist somewhere

Care Instructions:

Wash cold – like Schrödinger’s heart

Tumble dry low – don’t let it go thermonuclear

No bleach – we already ruined the table, not the planet

Iron gently – or just accept wrinkles like a noble gas accepts nothing